Desiree Akhavan
Appropriate Behavior
Interview by James Patrick Herman Photographs by Jeff Vespa
Where are you from?
“My parents are immigrants from Iran, but I was born and raised in New York. I went to posh private school in the Bronx, which was a lonely, alienating place. At age fourteen, I was voted the ugliest student in my class: My nickname was Heavy D. I felt like a total loser. And I didn’t think that anyone who looked like me could ever be cast in a movie.”
If they could only see you now! What’s the most New York thing about you?
“I’m a terrible driver.”
What’s the biggest difference between you and your Persian mother?
“My mother was raised with shame and fear. I feel a sense of entitlement that my mother did not, and I mean that in the best possible way.”
What are the highs and lows of Park City?
“The worst thing is the possibility of getting overwhelmed. I imagine it will be a bit chaotic like a film production — the same level of excitement and, quite possibly, anxiety. I don’t want to sweat the small stuff because Appropriate Behavior is my heart on my sleeve. I am in such a lucky position going in there as a director because it’s a filmmaker’s festival. That said, I love a hot tub party, so I would not say no to that opportunity!”
What are you packing?
“A lot of Emergen-C and a homeopathic cold remedy. Luckily, I am not going alone. My girlfriend’s face is like my valium.”
What was your big break?
“This film being made. My last project, The Slope, may have been an award-winning web series, but it didn’t land me a meeting at CAA, OK?”
What’s the buzz about Appropriate Behavior?
“It’s a painfully honest film with a wicked sense of humor because the saddest moments of my life have also been the funniest. There are so many cliches about ugly girls and Iranians and gay people and women who want to become titans of their industries. All of my characters are contradictions of themselves, which is something that is rarely depicted in films. But women in their twenties can be lost and yet know very clearly what they want at the same time. This happens to be my thesis film for NYU, you know.”
Did you get a good grade?
“The male teachers said: ‘We love your self-deprecating humor.’ But a female teacher said: ‘I don’t think it is self-deprecating at all. I think you are owning every minute of it with no fear.’
One of your professors hailed you as “the Iranian-American, lesbian Lena Dunham.” The Girls creator also happens to have a film at Sundance this year. Do you two have anything in common?
“I would like to think we are both less afraid of trying something and having it be a disaster than not trying something. I respect Lena because she has shown the industry that money can be made off unique female perspectives.”
Before you became a Sundance sensation, did you ever have a normal job?
“I was a live-in nanny for a billionaire family from the Middle East. Not long ago, I was hand-washing their underwear alongside a bunch of middle-aged Filipino women. It was surreal and the children despised me.”